Our first Blog:
Welcome to our new polyamory website
August 23rd, 2020
We have been hiding for many years.
We are Fabian, Nicole and Christian. Together with our little beautiful baby boy we form a family of four. Fabian and Nicole know each other since almost 10 years. Nicole and Christian have been together for 9 years. Since 9 years we all have been best friends. We were always there for each other, helping each other out. What once was only friendship grew together into an emotional exchange. When Fabian moved to Cologne he temporarily stayed with Nicole and Christian – that was the plan. But what was supposed to be temporarily had become permanently. When Fabian started dating other women Nicole and Christian both knew that they need to find another solution. We all were afraid of loosing another. That’s when we realized that we are polyamorous.
Polyamory is not for our society
Realizing that we all love each other was a beautiful feeling, but we stayed in the shadows for many years. Why? Because it was not like we could believe it ourselves. We were thinking: “If society is facing so many divorces and two people often can’t last together forever, then this constellation of three people loving each other will not last forever.” We were scared and still figured: “Enjoy as long it lasts.” Maybe it was exactly this thinking of enjoying the moment of love that brought us from one moment to the next. But then again this thinking made us hide. Why should we tell other people about our polyamory love, if it’s not forever anyway? Why should we shock our parents, our family members, friends and our working colleagues?
When things got real
Years past and we tried to get apart. Fabian tried dating other women. We tried to find a girl that would love him and accept us as friends. We were afraid that someone new could try to tear us apart. Then we started to think about a polyquad: We thought we could stay undercover when we just pretend being 2 couples living together. So, we were searching for a girl that all of us could love and that could love all of us, too. By the time we started thinking about getting kids, we hadn’t found the one yet. Hence, we were thinking about how we all could start a family together. We started talking about what parenthood means for us and realized that more parents are not a problem for starting a family: Our boy is blessed with 2 loving daddies now!
Still, some work to do
So, our family is happy and blessed. Now we need the society to see and understand, that there is nothing wrong with us. There are many prejudices about polyamorous relationships. Polyamorous relationships have nothing to do with cheating, sexuality, or open relationships. Polyamorous relationships are ethical, honest and mostly emotional constellations.
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Authors:
Fabian, Nicole and Chris from Real Polylife